Reduce Thanksgiving Anxiety
Thanksgiving is a joyful annual event that can also bring along some nerves, especially depending on the company you keep at dinner.
Even if you find yourself far from family—whether it’s a mental, physical, or both distance—don't worry! "Friendsgiving" is a wonderful alternative that can bring people together in a different way. It’s a chance to connect with friends who might also be missing their families, creating a sense of community and support.
No matter the type of gathering you attend, whether it’s a traditional Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving, here are six friendly tips to help ensure a delightful experience, making the celebration even more enjoyable for everyone involved!
Tip 1: Bring A Memorable Host Or Hostess Gift
If you’re not hosting, you should consider bringing a thoughtful gift for the thoughtful individual who 'voluntarily' decided to gather a diverse group of people with various personalities, agendas, histories, and coping mechanisms into their space for several hours. This gesture demonstrates your appreciation for the person preparing the meal and shows that you are there to provide support. You also position yourself as the ultimate, easy-going guest. This act alone could help the host or hostess recover from a few sharp remarks they might have just received from the “Emperor” or “Empress” in the kitchen—a turkey-baking enthusiast who demands constant attention.
One of my favorite gifts for November gatherings is the Thanksgiving Popcorn Feast. It serves as a tasty distraction for grumbling stomachs while everyone eagerly awaits the turkey's finishing touch. Additionally, this seasonal delight from GourmetGiftBaskets.com features an array of handcrafted popcorn in 10 delicious flavors tailored for the occasion: Turkey, Gravy, Apple Pie, Pumpkin Pie, Strawberry Cheesecake, Herb-Roasted Vegetables, Buttered Corn on the Cob, Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Cranberry Sauce, and Stuffing. Not only is it a delightful treat, but it can also spark engaging conversations, even with the most reserved family member. This whimsical gift has the potential to bring smiles and joy to the entire gathering.
Tip 2: Place Only The Food You Plan To Eat On Your Plate
If you’ve never liked squash, but feel compelled to put it on your plate to “try it” for the 20th time, please avoid that impulse.
Here’s why – you don’t want the host to think that it didn’t taste good as it sits neglected on your plate, and you don’t want to tempt Aunt Sally to call you out for not eating it. She comes off as annoying and you look unsatisfied – neither of which leads to a good experience for anyone.
Leftover food on your plate also can make someone utter something else that’s a real no-no – the dreaded question about whether or not you’re on a diet or worse, whether you should be on one! Broaching that topic at Thanksgiving can really put a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.
So avoiding the half-eaten food on your plate is a preventative measure protecting you and the group from several potential pitfalls.
Tip 3: Utter Something Genuinely Nice About The Food
Let’s say the turkey is overcooked and needs every drop of gravy you could find to wash it down. Or maybe the green beans are mushy and barely retain their shape. (Hey, it happens sometimes!). No matter what, just keep quiet, even if you want to crack a joke about it.
Instead, find one thing at the meal that tasted the best to you and praise that item. Other well-mannered people will take the hint and praise it, too – or applaud their favorite aspect of the meal.
That genuine praise should help the host or hostess to feel good and should lift the mood of the table. And if someone unsavory doesn’t take the hint and says something negative, tell him or her to try something else that you think is universally appealing. “Did you try those hot, buttered rolls? Oh, you really should. They’re fantastic!”
The idea is to keep the emotions light, supportive, and yes, thankful, whether or not “Doomer” and his wife, “Gloomer” are at the table.
Tip 4: If You Have Kids, Dress Them Up To Be As Cute As Possible
This not only applies if you’re a guest. It works if you’re the host/hostess, as well. Here’s the reason why: cute kids can be a great distraction from the crabby people at the table -- even if one of the crabby people is that cute kid!
People praising the kids will help the children (who may or may not like their relatives) to feel better, as well.
Ultimately, the more people praise the kids – the less likely they are to say something offensive or to bring up some lifelong feud between now-adult siblings that everyone hopes won’t surface in 2017.
Tip 5: If Someone Is New To The Table, Do Whatever You Can To Make Her Or Him Feel Welcome
Beyond the host or hostess, the “new person” is likely to be the most uncomfortable, nervous individual in the room. That’s because this individual usually only knows the boyfriend, girlfriend, or “friend”. The one who convinced him or her to enjoy a generations-old family tradition with someone else’s family. Also, depending on the situation, there could be all kinds of unspoken questions or pressures around this person. Or her relationship with the family member could exacerbate the tension.
So a simple smile and some neutral conversation (avoiding politics, relationships, sports, or religion) could go a long way to help this person (and everyone with a thousand questions) to feel more at ease.
Usually asking something about the kind of TV shows or movies the new person likes can serve as a helpful icebreaker. And it will encourage others to chime in about something that’s not (usually) emotionally charged. Beyond that, TV and movies are multi-generational, so almost everyone can participate in that conversation.
Tip 6: Assign One Adult To Pour All Wine & Champagne
You knew this was coming. Alcohol is the No. 1 factor that can turn a nice family gathering into a dinner fiasco. One you will wish had never happened. At the same time, you want this to be a celebration. Unfortunately, many adults equate celebrating with champagne, wine, and mixed drinks. To reduce Thanksgiving anxiety, you may have to cut back on the alcohol.
So the answer is to have one responsible adult pour all of the alcohol. And don't forget to cut people off at two servings. Now, some people might be miffed if they can’t have three glasses of champagne. But (truth be told) those are often the people who will be most likely to cause trouble if they’re inebriated.
I hope these tips help to ensure that your Thanksgiving is a wonderful, less stressful time with family and/or friends. Ultimately, a good holiday feast is all about making great memories for everyone -- especially the younger people at the table. Hopefully, they will try to replicate these memories as they get older.
The more we can demonstrate what a good Thanksgiving looks and feels like, the better (and easier) future Thanksgiving will be for everyone involved.
We hope these six tips help you to reduce Thanksgiving anxiety. Wishing you, your friends, and your family the Best Thanksgiving Yet!