Like Halloween, Easter is a holiday that wouldn’t be complete without candy. Every year, displays of bright floral boxes and fun festive shapes take over the candy aisle, an event that children and grownups alike look forward to. Since it’s only available once a year, Easter candy has become pretty special – sacred even. Well, at least some of it has. As always, there are a few candies that try to hop onto the Easter bandwagon, but fail miserably to live up to the standards set by Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Eggs. (Best. Candy. Ever.) So here they are, in somewhat random order; the Easter candies you should really stay away from:
1. Chicks and Rabbits
If you’re head over heels for that alluring light banana flavor of Circus Peanuts – just kidding, I know no one’s ever actually liked them – you’re going to love Chicks and Rabbits. These delights are labeled as being a marshmallow candy, which is interesting given their texture. Chicks and Rabbits are formed with that unmistakable, crumbly plastic-like foam that have made Circus Peanuts so popular. Sadly, the only redemption for these fuzzy farm darlings would be a super cute appearance…but instead, their elongated faces and large, vacant eyes make them look like E.T.’s cousins. Fail.
2. Chocolate Flavored Bunnies
The key word here is “flavored.” During a time of year when you can’t walk into a drug store without a display of actual chocolate bunnies, I don’t understand why people insist on ones that are chocolate flavored. It’s not like that many kids are allergic to the stuff (it only happens to like one and a million people). Seriously guys, splurge the extra 50 cents for the real deal – it’s a holiday.
This yummy ducky (really, it says that on the package – as if that’s enticing) is a complete and total horror. It looks like Ernie’s bath time buddy, but it’s edible. (Well, maybe. It depends on how you consider okay to eat.) Boldly going where no others have gone before, this Easter treat has paved the way for milk-flavored candies everywhere. Now, I know what you’re thinking: what would a milk-flavored treat taste like? Like pure evil. So it’s no wonder that Quax remains the only candy of its kind.
4. Cadbury Crème Eggs
Alright, I’m sorry – I know they’re a cult classic and everything, but admit it, they are pretty nasty. While the egg’s shell is a perfect representation of the slow-melting, smooth chocolate goodness we expect from Cadbury, the sticky sweet centers of runny, gooey fondant is enough to make any stomach go on strike. And, worse still, is that these ova have spawned a number of appalling recipes, including the ever-popular Cadbury Crème Eggs Benedict. I wish I were kidding.
5. Bunny Munny
This candy offends right off the bat. Bunny Munny? Hate to disappoint, but “munny” is not a real word and no matter how money is spelled, bunnies don’t actually have it, making these bright coins pretty darn confusing. As for the actual candy, it’s whatever. They’re made from real chocolate, so they have that, but don’t offer anything that a classic Crunch Bar can’t provide. While it’s not completely revolting, this candy is certainly not something you should ever drop real money (m-o-n-e-y) on.
About the Author:
“Katie Straw” is the Gourmet Scribe at GourmetGiftBaskets.com, one of the top suppliers of gift baskets in the nation, and currently resides in Manchester, New Hampshire.