Things I Would “Not” Like to See in the New Year

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I’m old enough now to know better. I understand that in my life-time, I will not see a cure for cancer, a diet that enables folks to lose weight and keep it off, and a sure-fire way to get babies to sleep through the night. With no disrespect to John Lennon, I also don’t imagine world peace any time soon.

But with all the troubles and pain for which there is no quick fix on the horizon, aren’t there some things worth just flat-out getting rid of? Something that would make the world a better place by its demise? Here’s a list of things that wouldn’t be missed in the new year.

More Cable News

24/7 is about 23/6 too much. I listen to public radio and read newspapers. I also watch the news. But listening to talking heads shouting over one another about the economy or the terrorist threat is exhausting and demoralizing. Enough!

Tattoos

A recent study in the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology reveal that 36 percent of people between the ages of 18 to 29 have at least one tattoo. That’s a lot of choice made permanent by people who might not love forever the image that they chose when they were in college. Ever been to a formal affair when the bridesmaid in strapless chiffon has a fire-breathing dragon across her shoulders?

Videos of Cute Cats

I’m sure some people find the antics of our feline friend adorable. But these videos take time to download and I don’t find three minutes of Socks playing with a ball of string worth quite as captivating as some might think.

Chain Emails

I don’t feel guilty when I erase an email that offers health and happiness in the newyear if I forward said email to ten of my closest friends. I erase all email chains. I wish everyone would,

Plastic Packaging

If you’ve ever needed an allergy pill in the middle of the night, you know what I mean. In an effort to make some products safe from children, the manufactures have made them impossible to open without a scalpel. Sometimes impossibly hard plastic even surrounds products meant for children. Ever try to open a package with a single match book truck? A Barbie outfit?

“Your Call is Very important to Us. . .”

I would like never to hear these words again. The words are never, ever said by a real human being. Because if they were, we might believe that our calls were, indeed, important to someone.

Action Movies Which Are Only Action

I love movies. I love going to the movies: sitting in the dark with strangers, giving the big screen my absolute, total attention. Sometimes I accompany my husband (who also loves movies) to what he refers to as “guy” movies. But it’s not the violence, the car-crashes, the mindless explosions I object to. It’s the total semblence of script. Movie producers have just spent a ga-jillion dollars on special effects. Couldn’t they kick in a couple of thousand for a few writers?

Cell Phone Conversations . . .

. . . of the lady in the car ahead of you who doesn’t notice that the light has changed; of the guy sitting next to you at the airport gate; of the teenager in the restaurant booth behind you; of the young mother in the grocery store who is not paying attention to her crying child

Slippery Sidewalks

This is the season where emergency rooms in the Midwest are filled with people who fall and break a leg, a hip, a wrist – because snowy sidewalks become icy sidewalks if they are not shoveled or salt-treated in a timely way. We all do the Iowa shuffle starting after the first snow. Now I don’t suppose we could get rid of winter . . .

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