Mothers are awesome. Let’s face it: no one else would have changed our diapers and still thought we were cute. And on the second Sunday in May (that’s Mother’s Day, and now you have no excuse), many moms are honored with beautiful bouquets, divine chocolates, and great gift baskets. But not all are so lucky. Every year, some children give their mothers astonishingly awful presents. So, when picking out gifts for your leading ladies this year, rest assured that you can rule these options out:
A poor choice for two reasons: 1. No one should look at a bra and say, “My mom would stun in that,” and 2. You may get the size wrong. It may not seem it, but there’s a huge difference between a 32B and 36C. Let’s try and not remind our mothers how perky their breasts were before years of breastfeeding.
Scales, Nutrisystem, or anything else related to dieting
Nothing says, “I love you, Mom,” like pointing out that she’s gained weight. Again, we did some damage to that body. Don’t rub it in.
Right. Because that’s what every hard working woman who raised you wants: a prickly plant with absolutely no personality.
Bad reputations are often really hard to shake. Once set in place, people seem to have that same perception forever. I guess you can’t really blame them (we’re all guilty of holding onto what we know) but sometimes what we know is pretty far from the truth. Like people, certain foods can get thought the worst of. We think we know what they’re all about, but in reality, what we think of them is totally wrong. These foods have received a lot of criticism over the years, though most of it is undeserved (and somewhat harsh):
People think that because it’s so delicious, this temptress just has to be bad for you. Plus, it’s chock full of sugar. Well guess what chocolate, you can remove your scarlet letter. Studies show that a single serving of cocoa has more powerful antioxidants than green tea, black tea, and red wine. Plus chocolate boosts your memory, and is full of flavinoids, which help increase blood flow to the skin, making it look real nice. (Learn more about Chocolate)
Sure, they’re jam-packed with cholesterol but that’s the only real downside. They’re one of the only foods to supply naturally occurring vitamin D, have only around 80 calories, and contain all nine essential amino acids. Suddenly, eggs aren’t sounding too bad, right? And, eggs are running some pretty good beauty promotions. They’re shown to promote healthy hair and nails because of their high sulfur content and numerous vitamins and minerals. (Learn more about Eggs)
I was under the illusion that we didn’t have any strange traditions in America. But then I started thinking about it – about the strange things we do around the holidays – and I realized we have some really bizarre rituals. Basing warm weather on a groundhog’s shadow? Come on. Who are we? So, since Easter’s on its way, I decided to investigate strange traditions and customs affiliated with the holiday. Here, in America, we have the classic egg rolling competitions, colorfully decorated Easter eggs, and an oversized rabbit that drops off baskets of candy. These traditions sound pretty weird, but in comparison with those from around the globe, the old U.S. of A. is looking pretty tame…
Easter Morning: you run into the living room (or wherever you guys stashed your baskets) and there, before your eyes are those brightly wrapped baskets. Decked out with pink cellophane, stuffed with neon green grass, tied ribbons cascading from wicker handles, the basket sits still waiting for you, filled with… things.
You can’t tell exactly what they are – the things – because your parents strategically wrapped them so that the only way you can discover what treasures await you is to unwrap the basket in its entirety. (Maybe your parents didn’t do this. Maybe you weren’t a nuisance. Maybe this was my parents’ way of getting back at me. Who knows.) So, anyway, your fingers tear at that cellophane. You plunge that fateful hand into the depths of the basket to retrieve fistfuls of candy, small toys, and whatever else your parents deemed worthy.
But that was when you were young. Now, you’re the MC of this Easter ritual. Picking out the right stuffers for an Easter basket sounds like a tricky job, but you’ll do just fine…just stay clear of these awful Easter basket items: